"After Jack left me, it was then that I realized that there was nothing left for me in the world. Nothing. Except for watching hot, man-sex."

I'd listened to her rant on long enough-- a good 22 minutes too long. All about her ill-fated high school fling with one Jack Twist, and how she was robbed of her innocence. Some innocence-- I noticed how titillated she was describing how she found Jack in the locker room with his spandex pants around his knees, his jock strap slung below his nuts and his dick down the quarterback's throat. I swear she was having multiple orgasms as she recited the story-- and I mean recited-- her horny little psyche narrated every thrust, every dribble and every tongue flick. 

"That's enough," I said. Her eyes narrowed. Jack stepped between us, which set her off all over again-- must be her post-orgasmic prolactin hadn't kicked in. She got in Jack's face, ticking off on her manicured monstrosities all the ways in which he "ruined" her life. Jack, on the other hand, was Mr. Cool: he stood, arms folded with a serene smile on his face.

"Now, Lureen," Jack said sweetly, "you know you were the only woman I was ever with. And I do care for ya."

"Friend! You said you wanted to be my friend!" she spat back. "I wasted the prime years of my life planning for our future, then--" 

"She was the only woman you've ever been with?" I interrupted. "Shit, Jack, that's enough to put any man off sex. Maybe you're not gay after all."

Not a wise thing to say. Her bullwhip cracked and bit into my left ass cheek.  She was winding up to lash a second time when Jack hollered, "Stop! You want to be pissed, be pissed at me! Leave him out of this!"

I rubbed my sore ass as I watched her lips twitch in anger. 

"Oh, but that's not the way we're going to do this," she hissed. "No, Jack. He is in this!" I jumped back fast as she cracked the whip above her head. "You, your super hunk and me make three! We're all the way in this-- and we're going all the way!"

She stepped up next to him, lips brushing his neck. "I can make it good for you," she whispered. "Remember my little friend?"

I had a feeling she wasn't referring to her whip. I thought about reading her mind, but there are some places even superheroes fear to go. 

"Ah hell, Lureen, you don't still have that stupid John Holmes strap-on?"

She gave a wicked nod and licked her lips as she caressed the whip's handle. Jack got nervous as hell, which made me nervous as hell. 

"Listen, Lureen, I don't think this is going to work. I mean, Ennis can't get it up for a woman no matter how big her appliance is. But if you want to watch some really hot man-sex, well, we can oblige-- he can get it up for me just fine."

I wasn't sure if I should feel insulted since I knew he was trying to get us out of this warped situation. From what I got from Jack, Nefarious had read too many Erica Jong novels and fancied herself the dark version of the heroine, Isadora Wing. Jack felt we were her new kinky, erotic attraction in her orgy of power. Last thing I wanted was to have Jack and myself part of her chosen playmates and have an 18 inch dildo up my ass. There had to be a way to get that iPhone from her without setting off the ray. 

I guess getting close to her was our only option.

"Ok, Nefarious," I said. "But you should know up front-- I'm allergic to latex."

TBC


From: [identity profile] bowl-of-glow.livejournal.com


"She was the only woman you've ever been with?" I interrupted. "Shit, Jack, that's enough to put any man off sex. Maybe you're not gay after all."

ROTFLMAO!!
Jesus Christ, best line ever!! Ahah, I'm still laughing!! XD!
Thanks for sharing, el_wing!


From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


Thanks. That line was inspired. Glad you liked it!

el

From: [identity profile] enoughtohurt.livejournal.com


But if you want to watch some really hot man-sex, well, we can oblige


YEEESSS!!!!!!! I want, I want!!!!


I swear she was having multiple orgasms as she recited the story-- and I mean recited-- her horny little psyche narrated every thrust, every dribble and every tongue flick.
**
"Shit, Jack, that's enough to put any man off sex. Maybe you're not gay after all."



LOLOL!! You really crack me up!!

Love this more and more. Thank you so much.

Love and hugs.

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


Thanks. I'm having fun writing this when I know I should be writing something else. This is easy for me to write and doesn't take too long. I've been trying to be better at updating this. Glad you're enjoying my warped sense of humor.

el

From: [identity profile] anony-mouse19.livejournal.com


lolol.
Nothing. Except for watching hot, man-sex.
now this sounds familiar. =P

thanks for the lolz. :D

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


I know. I think Nefarious is all a bit like us (minus the John Holmes dildo).

From: [identity profile] lovelysmidge.livejournal.com


HOLY GOD!
18 INCHES?!
Ouch...
That cannot feel good anywhere...
Let alone up your ass.
-shudder-

Still love this fic.<3

Jules

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


That's how big that man was. Scary, right?

Glad you like my story-- I love your writing also, and look forward to more from you.

el

From: [identity profile] lovelysmidge.livejournal.com


Really?! That is horrifying. I had never heard of him.

Your stories are great. Oringinal and hilarious. Well, when you want them to be. I'm just waiting for chapter two of Manifest Destiny to come back from beta and... Well, I haven't started chapter two of Freebase... But I've been reading some of sienata's RPS, so my muse might be intrigued soon!

Jules

From: [identity profile] mariez65.livejournal.com


Priceless, as usual!

I realized that there was nothing left for me in the world. Nothing. Except for watching hot, man-sex."

I wonder what her LJ name is. LOL. Thanks, el. You're a gem :)

Marie

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


I think her name could be mariez65 ;) just kidding. You'd never try to destroy Shag Island, let alone own an 18 inch dildo!

Thanks for reading and the compliment, Marie!

el

From: [identity profile] torry28.livejournal.com


"I thought about reading her mind, but there are some places even superheroes fear to go."
Your writing is just about the best medicine to lift once spirit.
Thank you, Hope Jack can be the hero and save them all.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful weekend.
Love,
Torry

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


Thanks, Torry. Glad to lift your spirit.

Hope your family has a fantastic weekend also.

love, el

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


Thanks, Jill. It's a bit odd, I know, but it's all in fun.

el

From: [identity profile] tmn1966.livejournal.com


OMG, thank goodness I know better than to be drinking anything while reading this or it would end up all over my keyboard and monitor.

You are the bestest! (And I wouldn't mind getting a little bit of the LIB sequel -- you are still writing that, right?!?!?)

Love this story!

Teri

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


Hi, Teri,

Yes, I'm still writing the LIB sequel. I was hoping to post it next week, but life is crazy right now. I'll have more time to write after school has finished, which here isn't until mid-June (which sucks).

Thanks,

el

From: [identity profile] joetheone.livejournal.com

so much fun


Oh you are so much fun with this story and well, I don't know but that John Holmes Dildo came as the centerpiece on my 30th Birthday they made a centerpiece of dildos and that was the main one. I never tried it and never will I like going to the bathroom like a normal person. LOL Ok too much information. Iphones are notorious for breaking down so maybe they will get lucky. Joe

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com

Re: so much fun


Man, I've heard of penis bouquets, but that's funny. I've seen those JH dildo, and they are terrifying!

Thanks for reading, Joe.

As for the iphones, I know you're right from personal experience!

love,
el

From: [identity profile] hoosier67.livejournal.com


This is too fucking funny! You must get this published.

Tracy

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


Thanks, Tracy. I don't know, is there a place for hokey comic book slash?

Thanks for the compliment.

el

From: [identity profile] ifyoucantfixit2.livejournal.com


Holy dangerous plaything. 18 inches sounds life threatening... I would have been scared to death, just seeing
it. This is getting out of, pardon the terminology, hand and
every other part that is in danger.Lol Jan

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


I've seen them, and they do look that way. I think that's why Jack got so nervous...

Thanks for reading and glad you're enjoying this,

el

From: [identity profile] munnoch.livejournal.com

Hello friend. you are very inform indeed



Oooooooooooooo my Dod I do not remember having read something so warmly, all my life
Well?... Perhaps.
Thanks
Jose.

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com

Re: Hello friend. you are very inform indeed


I'm not sure I understand you. I think English is not your native language, but if I am to understand you thought this funny, I am complimented!

thanks for commenting,
el

From: [identity profile] munnoch.livejournal.com

Re: Hello friend. you are very inform indeed


Yes my dear friend my English is deplorable, and I am ashamed there, I think it will better from now, don’t leave anymore commentaries.
Dear el I am absolutely sorry if I have said something that was able to hurt you.
Obviously it was not my intention.
I thought wrote, that you were very inspired when you had written your narrative.
My apologies dear friend.
Jose.


From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com

Re: Hello friend. you are very inform indeed


No! Please, don't stop leaving comments. Please know that you haven't offended or hurt me at all. I just wasn't sure I understood your comment ;)

I welcome all comments.

Also I have the utmost respect for someone who, such as you, who is communicating and reading stories in another language! That is amazing. It is I who must apologize to you. I am sorry that I let you think that I was upset with you. I am not!

Comment away. All comments are appreciated!


From: [identity profile] fl1789.livejournal.com


Great chapter! But I can't help to feel a little bad for poor Nefarious/Lureen :(



fl.

From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com


What a kind-hearted person you are!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

el

From: [identity profile] samtyr.livejournal.com


"I thought about reading her mind, but there are some places even superheroes fear to go."

--ROTFL!!! XD Oh, wow. I laughed so hard at this! My cats are still staring at me!
.