None so Blind Chapter 1

[happy_never_after]

Title: None so Blind (Sequel to Love is Blind) 
Author: el_wing
Genre: AU 
Pairing: Jack/Ennis
Rating: PG to NC17 This chapter PG.
Feedback: I like it almost as much as candy.
Story background: Jack and Ennis learn to live together after Jack loses his sight.
Author's note: Thanks to judy_blue_cat for your insight and quick beta work. You are a marvel.

Chapter 1

Jack kept still on his back, lettin' the easy rise 'n fall of  his man's breathin' lull his achin' mind. Ennis still slept despite the heat of the sun and the noise of the home. And filled with noise it was: Benito's home teamed with life-- echoes of barks and chirps and voices and song. Lureen was here, Bobby too along with animals in Benito's care-- all under one hospitable roof. This noise was welcome. 

It was over, most of the nightmare was, except for the darkness.

And there was Ennis. 

Jack worried on him. Wasn't like him ta still be sleepin'. He was always the quiet type, but with Jack, he'd always told him how he felt-- if it weren't with soft words, it was with soft touches. Since they'd been back in Benito's home, Ennis'd been more quiet than usual. Hadn't talked about much, but Jack knew Ennis was a man filled with worry. It was them soft touches what gave it away. Killin' that man weighed on Ennis mighty fierce. Was times he'd catch Ennis, know'd he was starin' out the window or inta space at nothin'. Could tell by the way Ennis' feet shifted like cattle before a storm. Jack'd ask, "What's wrong?" and Ennis'd brush it off, sayin', "Nothin'," like sayin' it would make it so. Knew Ennis. No sense tryin' ta talk to him until he was ready ta spill his guts but the waitin' was hard. Until then Jack just counted his blessings, 'cause after all, they had each other, that was a hell of a lot more than either of em had before.

Jack had a lot on his mind too. Most likely the same troubles that Ennis had. Like wonderin' how they was gonna live. Hell, bein' with Benito was only temporary. Had ta make their way. Do somethin'. Together. And that was the final worry. All them doubts, childhood ghosts and whispers. Knew Ennis heard em all just like Jack done-- and Jack knew Ennis' ghosts and whispers was hard to ignore. Yet, look how far they'd come.  Ennis was in bed-- with him. Somethin' Jack'd hoped and wished fer more times than he could ever count.  Bein' blind was hard, but shit, wakin' up without Ennis all them years was a hell of a lot harder. Reckoned Ennis thought the same. Problem was, them ghosts and whispers had a way of jumpin' out and screamin' boo when ya least expected.

Jack kicked the sheets. Was thinkin' on gettin' up but couldn't. Not yet. Let his foot rub Ennis' ankle. Made Jack's heart lighten. Let Ennis' early mornin' snorts and snores embrace him too. Recalled all them nights with both of em snug in one bed roll when Jack'd listen ta Ennis snore like this. Could feel, even in this heat, the chill of the mountain mornin' wrap around em. Jack rolled closer ta Ennis like he done then. Ennis rolled around. Held him. Yep, them mountains wrapped around em both almost as tight as Ennis' arms. Still, Jack thanked the heavens for the soft mattress. Was many a mornin' that his poor back cursed the unforgivin' ground. Loved this old mattress with a dip in the center, cupped em together. 

Jack gently kissed Ennis' cheek, and he felt Ennis' smile. Jack slipped his hand careful-like, so's not ta wake him. Brushed his fingers in them curls near his ears. Recalled just yesterday that Ennis told him that he needed a haircut. Jack didn't say nothin', but he hoped Ennis'd keep his hair longer. Liked the feel of him-- every part, every curl, every callus. Didn't tell Ennis that. Reckoned he should though.

The morning sun warmed his face, and Jack haltingly sat up, shiftin' his legs off the edge of the bed. He sat there a spell, listenin' to the sounds of morning inside Benito's old home. Welcome sounds they was too although too many for Ennis' likin'. Jack had to chuckle a bit-- with all Ennis' pissin' and moanin' over the ruckus last night, it didn't seem ta bother his rest none now. Jack didn't mind. Unlike Ennis, Jack cottoned to the chaos. Those yips, barks, meows and hisses risin' up from the doc's first clients was like a livin' alarm clock. Jack liked the noise-- let him know he was alive, let him know there was a world out there.

Seemed everyone was up but them. Bobby's boom box vibrated the walls. Heard his son singin' along off-key ta Mick Jagger. Jack smirked. Nothin' changed. And seemed Bobby couldn't "get no satisfaction." Was a time Jack woulda agreed with his son-- but crazy as this place seemed, it gave Jack a sense of warmth deep inside. Yep, Jack had satisfaction.

And this was the kind of mornin' a body had ta take advantage of. Jack got up, got dressed, leavin' Ennis ta dream. Nina followed, tail battin' the air and Jack's legs. Jack counted off steps to the door, through the hallway then down the stairs. First stop, kitchen and coffee and then great outdoors for Nina's morning constitutional. After, had to attend to Nina's insistent tugs to his jeans ta git her breakfast. After fillin' her bowl, Jack sat at the kitchen table fer a spell, sippin' his coffee. Finally, Nina pawed his leg, signalin' she was ready for the day. Jack moseyed on to his true destination: Benito's library. 

Time ta do some of that studyin'. 

Nina, ever the eager scholar, was at his side, steppin' in time so precise with her master that Jack wondered who really was the master. 

Jack set his coffee careful-like on a napkin he picked up in the kitchen. Didn't want ta mar Benito's old desk in the study. Although others hadn't been as careful, he felt the old circles that warped the surface. Imagined plenty of people worked behind this old desk.

The study smelled of dust and, this morning, of dog. Also smelled of something else, something sweet, spicy and familiar. Not cinnamon or cloves. Jack couldn't recollect what it was, but reminded him of his mama bakin' on Mondays. 

Jack eased into the old captain's chair and opened one of them books Benito had set out for him. Jack's fingers danced over the dots. Just the alphabet. Were other books here in this room. Some complicated. Works like Paradise Lost and Treasure Island. All belonged to Benito's daughter, Isobel. The doc had shown him the collection three days ago. A good portion of the south wall and all of the west held Isobel's collection. The day Benito showed him, Jack'd run his hands across the shelves filled with the thick volumes. Rows upon and rows. Benito left out some easy ones fer Jack. Set them on the old captain's desk. Even had Dick and Jane in Braille. Jack chuckled. Go, Spot, go.

Jack suppressed another laugh. Fingers tickled. But he was startin' ta get the hang of this whole readin' with his fingers. He'd had serious doubts at first since he'd had a time with readin' as a kid. Readin' never came easy. His ma worked with him for long hours on his studies although his pa never saw no use for any of that readin' and writin' nonsense. 

But Jack took to it. Grew to like it. Readin' took him places he never reckoned he'd ever see. Still, he stumbled. Never could read aloud worth a damn. Reckoned he missed a lot readin' to himself too, but readin' these bumps-on-a-page was different-- this touchin' and learnin' ta read with the hands. Doin' things with his hands was somethin' Jack Twist was good at. Seemed this was the way for him to read that his eyes had cheated him out of.

He got lost. The world disappeared. Never knew that a body's fingertips could differentiate between them tiny dots on a page, but Jack found he could. Bobby's music faded as he read the simple words. Nina's sighs were ignored as he read each sentence. She warmed his feet, but he didn't notice. All the little feelin's and noises Jack'd normally tuned into, all those triggers, were tuned out  learnin' this new task. 

He was lost until Lureen broke his concentration.

"Turn that danged thing down," she shouted. Her bellowin' was followed by that quiet laugh Jack loved so well. Jack turned. Never'd miss that laugh no matter how deep he was concentratin'. Ennis moved in the doorway, boots tappin' the frame. He swore he could smell him-- knew when Ennis was in the room. Ennis.

"Mornin', yer up early," came that quiet voice. 

"Been beatin' ya outta bed a lot lately. Yer gittin' lazy in yer old age."

Heard Ennis' harrumph along with his boot steps echo louder as he come up next ta him, thigh touchin' Jack's arm. Had his boots on. Meant he was goin' somewhere.

"Where ya off to?" Jack asked.

"Gonna help Benito with some large animals today. Drive him there ta make the call and lend him a hand-- thought maybe you could lend a hand too."

"Don't know much I could do 'cept stand there and take up space. I'd do better here, learnin' this here Braille stuff."

"Might need some help. Benito said this old stud bull always puts up a fight. Thought maybe you'd have some pointers."

Click, click of Lureen's heels came up behind them. Ennis jumped away like a startled calf. Moment later, Jack felt Lureen's arm go around his waist and her lipstick smear across his cheek as Nina's tail banged welcome on the hardwood floor. Heard a second peck. 'Bout floored Jack. She'd kissed Ennis!  

Jack never woulda known-- the way Lureen'd changed. She told him it was findin' them postcards that made her, forced her, to open her eyes. She'd always known, she'd told him, she just didn't want to know.

Considerin', Jack thought, she was mighty forgivin'. Jack supposed though that maybe there wasn't much to forgive. Wasn't like they'd ever belonged ta each other. Still-- amazed Jack how Lureen had taken ta Ennis. Liked him right off. Didn't seem ta hold no grudges fer a women who had ta have known that Ennis had always been first in Jack's heart.

"Hey, how's my favorite men?" 

"Doin' well," Ennis mumbled. Jack imagined he was blushin' about now. 

"See that," Lureen said. "At the books again, Jack? Until now, only thing I ever seen Jack read was them Sports Illustrated magazines or maybe TV Guide."

"Times change." Jack actually didn't get Sports Illustrated for readin', but for lookin'. At men. But he wasn't gonna tell Lureen that-- or Ennis fer that matter.

"Was jest askin' Jack ta go along with Benito on his calls."

"Be good for you ta get out of the house." Lureen turned. She had ta be lookin' at Ennis. "Just wonderin' if you need this." This meanin' the books, the learnin'. Could tell 'cause her voice got all choppy. Jack'd known Lureen long enough ta know when she was gettin' ready to bring up a subject that Jack wouldn't like. Hell, she'd get them pauses between words like swings between splittin' logs. Used to do that whenever she'd bring up LD or work. Right now was one of them times. 

Jack waited.

"Just wonderin'," she said, more ta Ennis than ta Jack, "if maybe this can be fixed. You should find out, ya know, from another doctor-- one that my daddy ain't payin' for."

Ennis sucked wind. 

"By 'this' ya mean my eyes?" Jack pointed, fingers an inch from pokin' them. Jack heard similar words from Ennis, from Benito. 'Course, they'd been more straightforward. Still, the whole subject, he was sick of it. Made him angry, then sad. And hell, why was she addressin' Ennis, like Jack weren't even in the room? Pissed Jack off even more. Should be used ta people ignorin' him. Or maybe Lureen talkin' ta Ennis was part of some plan they cooked up-- gang up on Jack Twist.

Knew Ennis was waitin' for the cussin' and yellin' ta begin. Truth was, he didn't have it in him this time to rail on and on. Truth was he was beginnin' ta think they was right, and that upset him more. Maybe he didn't want to know 'cause there was nothin' to know. Doctor'd told him that this was it. You're blind. Paid with LD's money or not, them doctors were good men. Competent. And deep down Jack knew the truth. This was it. He'd done the hope and pray thing once before. But again? He was askin' more than the good lord could grant. 

Knew Lureen and Ennis was on pins and needles waitin'. Jack just thought. 

He was just gettin' to accept his lot in life, why'd they need ta stir up all these feelin's?

And then there was Bobby. Didn't want him to go through all that same shit, get his hopes raised ta have them crushed. Hard enough thinkin' his daddy was dead.

"Ain't gonna change a thing," Jack said finally.

"No, it might not, Jack Twist," she said. "But I want to be able to say ta your son's face that we done everything."

"That's exactly who I was just thinkin' of," Jack said, shiftin' in his chair. "Not right to make him think his daddy's gonna see again and then find out it ain't gonna happen."

"You're so sure."

Jack didn't tell her what he wanted ta say-- Do you think I want to be blind?  

Instead he said, "Yes, I'm sure."

Jack heard the boards groan under Ennis' feet as he shifted his weight. Here it comes--

"Jack," Ennis said, "I think ya should do it too."

"Damn it, I'm just startin' ta accept this myself. Why can't ya all do the same?"

"We need ta be sure, Jack," Lureen said, squeezin' his shoulder. Lureen's mind was set. He heard it in her voice. No way he was gonna win this one in the end. Not with Ennis and Benito sidin' with her too.

Jack sighed, resigned. "Alright. I'll do it. Go find some new-fangled doctor. But when he tells ya this is it, no more."

"Sure, Jack," she said. Ennis grunted. "We can keep it from Bobby and wait ta tell him until after it's over."

Jack's first reaction was to agree with Lureen, but he recalled LD, and what he done. Then there was their marriage. Jack shook his head. "No," Jack said, "too many secrets in this household over the years, too many. Don't need to keep another. And Bobby's growin' up. He's not no boy anymore. Better tell him."

Could tell by the way Ennis moved closer ta Jack that he agreed.

"Fine, then," she said. "Yer boy is growin' up. Don't think we could lie to him and get away with it anyway."

Jack nodded. 

"So, what do ya think, Rodeo? Comin' with us?" Ennis asked. "Might be good, take Bobby with us."

"Yeah," Jack agreed.

Maybe that'd give him a chance ta tell him. Make sure he didn't get too optimistic about it all.

"Get yer boots on. The doc should be gettin' done with the sick Cocker Spaniel in a few."

Jack shut the book and stretched, back poppin'.

"Nutmeg," he said.

"What's that?" Ennis asked.

"That's what this here room smells like-- nutmeg."

"You're one crazy son of a bitch, Twist."

"I'll call Bobby down--" Lureen said. "Have him get ready."

Jack smiled. Oatmeal cookies with nutmeg. 

"Think you could bake some cookies, Lureen?"

"Since when have I baked cookies?"

"Just thought, I'd like some oatmeal cookies."

"Guess I could. Have ta check and see about ingredients."

"Be nice," Jack said. 

"Don't believe this," Lureen said to herself. "All them years, never baked a cookie and now he wants some."

"Don't think she's doin' it out of sympathy, do ya?" Jack asked Ennis.

"Course she is," Ennis laughed.

"Good." Jack smiled. "Bein' blind's gotta be good fer somethin'."

Ennis slapped Jack's back as he heard Lureen holler up the stairs for Bobby ta come down.

TBC

Comments

Nicely done.

[cynical21.livejournal.com]

Seeing this is like being welcomed back into a familiar friendly home - a true pleasure.

CYN

Re: Nicely done.

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I feel the same way when I'm writing this.

el

[samtyr.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to see a new story in this series. Thank you! :)

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

[mariez65.livejournal.com]

Hey, what a lovely surprise! You've very skillfully set a different tone for this sequel and it works really well. I think we all learn after a time that life comes down to a series of challenges; just as you think you've conquered one (or a dozen), one (or a dozen more) pop up! And sometimes those problems we think we've put behind us have a funny way of popping up again. I loved Jack's thoughts about reading and how "the world disappered". So true - and I'm glad to see him take joy in it. Lureen is great. LOL at the oatmeal cookies! I'm really looking forward to taking this new journey with your boys as they face some new and old challenges together. Terrific job, el. Thanks!

Marie

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. And yes, the tone of this is much different. They're in different circumstances now. After all the trauma and insanity, they have time to breath-- and think-- you are so right about the challenges they will have to meet.

The oatmeal cookies was something I added on revision. I wanted to tie in the nutmeg and thought it might be a natural request from Jack and his stomach@

Thanks again, Marie.

el

[trekfan.livejournal.com]

this is a great beginning to this sequel El thanks

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

You're so, so welcome!

[tmn1966.livejournal.com]

Excellent chapter. I really enjoyed the easy feel of it, Jack laying in bed, then getting up and starting his day. I think he was smart to give in and agree to see another doctor. And I'm glad he wanted to be up front about it with Bobby.

Thanks so much for this. I've really been looking forward to it.

Teri

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I captured the mood well. The sequel won't be angst driven like the original. I still haven't changed my mind on Jack regaining sight, but this is a question that people who love him would want answered.

Thanks, Teri.

el

[jen-wcugirl.livejournal.com]

Hi Ellie! :)

I didn't know you were going to write a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was a tremendously wonderful surprise!!! And it was a lovely chapter to begin with...poor Jack still trying to accept for himself that he is going through all this, and being pressured by everyone to hope that he isn't blind for good...well I mean we all hope he isn't blind for good, and I am willing to hold out some hope that he will be able to regain his sight, but I guess we will have to wait and see.

Wonderful start to a surprise!!! :) YAY!
Jen

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

"I didn't know you were going to write a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I guess this was a surprise for you. I didn't post anywhere that I was ready to update, so I knew people would be surprised about me finally doing it!

Thanks Jen!

el

OMFG....*HAPPY DANCE*

[biggerbuns.livejournal.com]

You really did it!!! Its a sequel....oh happy day! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! *runs off to read, skipping all the way*

Re: OMFG....*HAPPY DANCE*

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Yes, I really did it!

Thanks!

[nosunlight.livejournal.com]

I'm glad this is back. I'm torn. Part of me wants Jack to get his sight back. It doesn't have to great, still legally blind, but to be able so the people he loves (even partially). But Jack being blind made him stronger. I like that. I also think that it is 'easier' for Ennis to be with Jack in public..."He's blind and needs my help..."

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

The whole, he's blind and needs my help is an issue Ennis thought about in the first story. Sad that it makes it easier and more acceptable for Ennis to "be" with Jack.

Thanks for the feedback!

el

[ifyoucantfixit2.livejournal.com]

I was very glad to see that you are back and running for this story. I enjoyed the way that Jack is trying to allow the others to come to terms with the truth as he has done. Thank you for giving us this revisitation to these great people. janice

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Janice. I like how you said that "Jack is trying to allow" since that's so true with what I'm trying to do here with the story. Jack is stepping back for their sake. He's kind hearted guy.

el

[gilli-ann.livejournal.com]

Woot! It's such a pleasure to meet them all again! Lovely first chapter, thank you!

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Woot back at you! Thanks so much!

el

[annabuffy.livejournal.com]

So nice to see more of a great story. This was a great 1st chapter. It's nice that Lureen and Bobby are both there and so accepting. Hope that the new Dr. can help Jack get his eyesight back.

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. Don't want to give you false hope here. I knew that the questions were going to come up again with this but I felt for realism's sake, those close to him would want a second opinion. Hope that doesn't make you too sad!

el

[denim-girl2006.livejournal.com]

Been waiting for this sequel...thank-you for writing it! I liked the first chapter VERY MUCH!!! You've made me hungry for cookies! :)

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

I'm hungry for cookies too. Need cookie!

Thanks!

el

[bcatjr.livejournal.com]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta find time to read this. Woot!!!

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Go ahead and read it as long as it doesn't take away time from writing about your biker boys!

;)

el

[dclittledarlin.livejournal.com]

That was awesome!! This was by far one of my fave bbm fics and I'm glad to see you continued it! I stumbled on it by accident looking for your next drabble! yayay for finding it!

hugs!

karla

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Karla for the kind words. You make me blush! Glad you stumbled on the new chap by accident.

el

[testa-dura.livejournal.com]

Wonderful to see this sequel. I love the way you set the scene from Jack's perspective - it is really amazing the way you let us hear and feel his world.

I know Lureen and Ennis think they're doing the right thing but in a way they should be careful since - I think - to Jack they could be signaling that they can't accept him blind. Which to a man like him could lead to all sorts of doubts.

Panting for more,

Tes

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Very astute of you to see that for a man like Jack that can lead to doubts. He's had a lot of heartache and that's hard to let go of especially concidering that now he has time to dwell on it all.

Thanks!

el

NIce start to more

[joetheone.livejournal.com]

I'm glad they are going to see if maybe another doctor can assist Jack with seeing again. You never know unless you ask. You should also never give up. When I was 31 I got ill and had all sorts of physical changes in my body. Here I found out I had a Pituitary tumor. I went through a lot of doctors who said all these horrible things to me and said my life was going to go totally down hill. Well, I would not let that hold me back. I searched and went to numerous doctors and found one in Boston who said he could help. Then he was transferring to Pittsburgh which was only 2 hours from me so yes their are guardian angels in my book. Well, I do take a lot of medication and I do have to go to doctors a lot and have gone through a lot but I work every day I live every day and nothing has slowed me down. All those horrible things did not happen and I will be 44 next month so yes never ever listen to one diagnosis. I'm not saying the other doctors were not well ecducated and not good it is just with this particular tumor they did not know everything and were not willing to try things . You have to have hope and go with it. Anything is possible we make our own destinies in this world. So Jack if you hope and pray and keep trying then maybe yes it will. I know that sometimes we have to live with some things but never ever give up and never let anyone tell you that you cannot do it. Joe

Re: NIce start to more

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

I understand completely where you're coming from with mis diagnosis-- not that I want you to think the Jack in this story will get his sight back from my statement-- I don't want to mislead you, but I do know about mis diagnosis. After all my family has been through the last year, is it cancer? is it not cancer? I understand. It's rough. Having hope and the will to go for life and live it to the fullest is what I do too.

Thanks for your insights and telling your story.

Love, ya, Joe.

el

[fridayblues.livejournal.com]

This is so nice, El.
I adore Love is Blind and the sequal really makes me excited and happy. You're so good at writing Jack as a blind man. I'd say you capture what he hears and smells really good. I can see clear picture.
Loved it! And absolutely waiting for more :)
xxx

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks and thank you for your stories too (also waiting for more!)

love ya,
el

[casey28.livejournal.com]

I love that they're staying at Benito's house, and that Jack feels so comfortable with all the sounds in the house...which "let him know he was alive, let him know there was a world out there." And it's good that Jack's gonna join Ennis and Benito in helping out.

I'm so glad you're writing a sequel, and look forward to more. :)

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks, casey, I like the sound and feel of Benito's too. It's what they both need after what they've been through.

Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.

el

[bentgyro.livejournal.com]

Happy to see a sequel - liked this story!
Thanks!
HT

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I appreciate you taking time to comment.
el

[torry28.livejournal.com]

Must have heard me wishing, I just read through the entire story last night and oh my God here you are continuing I'm so very happy.Its a special folder in my bedroom where I keep my all time best stories and now I can add some more pages.

Thank you and I hope you and your hobby are doing wonderful.
Hugs
Torry

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

I think I did hear a little voice... was that you or the medication I'm taking?

Glad you're pumped to add more pages to their story. Thanks so much.

Hugs back at ya,
el

[acquaalta.livejournal.com]

readin' these bumps-on-a-page was different-- this touchin' and learnin' ta read with the hands. Doin' things with his hands was somethin' Jack Twist was good at. Seemed this was the way for him to read that his eyes had cheated him out of.

Oh, I loved that paragraph. So beautiful.
And I can understand Jack for not wanting to consult another doctor. But then I see the others point. I am not sure if I want to let my hopes rise as well. But I think somehow I will anyway. Maybe there is a way ... all the best, B.

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

I feared when I began this story line that people would get their hopes up, but I knew it would be realistic that the people who love Jack would want to seek another opinion. It's just natural for them to wonder and wish, just as you dear readers wonder and wish. Still, I am shooting for realism.

Thanks,

el

[rt-in-town.livejournal.com]

Loved this image of Jack discovering the written word after he's lost use of his sight. Thank goodness for Braille's lovely invention. Isn't it miraculous indeed that we human beings can learn to substitute touch for sight when conveying the riches of written language to our minds?

Hee hee. And I giggled at Jack grouping these two together under "complicated":
Some complicated. Works like Paradise Lost and Treasure Island.

It's a realistic detail, though: Jack is no man of letters. But he is definitely uncovering a new world that he was formerly "blind" to, back in the days when he could see. It's really a very apt and touching way for you to show us that his blindness changed his life.... and yet, it wasn't all subtraction. A new world and a new existence opened up for him too.

I'll admit to being a little surprised that Ennis is still quite that disturbed at having killed. No, it's not a small thing, and many men would be that bothered.... but despite his inner gentleness, I always sensed that Ennis had this aggression in him which, when especially roused by protectiveness of his mate, would land him with what I suspect would be a very "bring 'em down" mentality in a violent confrontation.

The issue of whether Jack should be seeing another doctor: his situation is definitely a painful one. The people who love him don't understand how seeing another doctor could hurt, except that it can and does. How can Jack help but feel hurt that everyone around him is pressuring him to go, as if they couldn't accept him as a blind man? That said, I think most patients would be in Jack's mindset after the third or fourth doctor visit. Most patients (and I can't speak for your Jack specifically) I suspect would be pulled by the natural gravity of hope to want one second opinion.... with a sharp decrease in any will to chase after rainbows after that. It's different for each patient though, and these are just the grossest generalizations.

I love that the whole family has a home in Benito's place right now, and that Benito's been doing things like stocking books for Jack. Heh heh.... he wasn't reading Sports Illustrated for the articles :)

[el-wing.livejournal.com]

When I wrote about "complicated works" I thought of stories that students find complicated-- most would agree that Paradise Lost certainly is (me, I'm love Milton. It's one of my favorite reads), but surprisingly I've found that students have a hard time with, Treasure Island-- although they enjoy it. I almost wrote Moby Dick instead, but too many jokes (have you ever seen the On Living Color skit? Two snaps and a thumbs up?!) surround the work and well, humor wasn't what I was shooting for in that passage.

On Ennis' upset, I do feel he would be upset. I agree completely with you that he has that deep anger inside him, but he also has this soft, vulnerable side. The toughest men are often the most affected by taking a life.

Yes, Jack feels hurt about them wanting a second opinion. I like how he's at a place now where he can step back and think about others. That's so much a part of the last stages of healing and for Jack to understand that Ennis and his family haven't adjusted to this is a huge step in Jack's heart and soul mending.

Thanks for your insightful comments.

el

[neverdone39.livejournal.com]

Whoo-eee! I haven't read it yet, but you already made my day :)

[neverdone39.livejournal.com]

You're so good at writing stuff from Jack's POV. You're good at writing period. LOL

I can understand Ennis and Lureen want Jack to see another doctor. It doesn't mean they don't accept Jack as a blind man. Some things you just have to hear yourself, with your own ears, not being told about. Additionally Jack already had time to get used to the fact that his blindness is for good and to learn to accept it. Ennis and Lureen hadn't yet.
If they need this one visit at another doctor to be really sure, then Jack should give it to them. And he does.

Great start for the sequel! Thanks so much for writing more of those two.

[elwings-things.livejournal.com]

Why thanks! You're so right that there's just so things that you have to hear for yourself. Thanks for feedback.

el

[aileenfan.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to see you started a sequel:) Looking forward for more:)

[elwings-things.livejournal.com]

Why thanks! More to come...