happy_never_after | Love is Blind Chapter 32

Linden tossed around for the hundredth time. Dang. The couch hurt. One spring stuck up, then ping! there went another-- the point of one stuck in his back, but the shot to the kidney was the most painful. He couldn't get comfortable no matter what position he was in-- back, stomach, side. Roll, roll, roll. And then there was the sounds from above. Did those cowboys ever quit? Ennis and Jack. Jack and Ennis. True love forever. Muffled moans. Stifled sighs. They were trying. Could be worse-- life was better than the other night, sleeping in that bed above where they were now. Christ, sleeping up there was misery-- it reeked of Ennis and Jack and sex and everything he didn't have. Then today-- he'd made a fool of himself with Jorge. First with getting tangled up in the leash like some uncoordinated fool. Then he found himself face first in Jorge's crotch and so turned on that even Sister Sarita couldn't miss his boner.

Then the walk. Good golly Miss Molly-- He'd kissed him. Jorge had pushed him up against the shed and kissed him. Twice. Linden's lips still burned from the touch. He still didn't understand himself-- why he did what he did next-- ran off scared like some kid. It was just-- Linden was surprised. Well, more like floored. He'd tripped backward on a rock, landed on his ass, got up and ran away with Jorge's laugh ringing in his ears and Nina barking beside him.

Very adult. Smooth move, Linden.

Felt like high school all over again.

He'd slowed down as soon as he was out of earshot and walked the rest of the way back to the house, hyperventilating. He lingered outside with Nina-- waited-- caught his breath, then lit up a clove cigarette to take it away again. He let it burn down to his knuckles and mulled over all the same old shit in his brain he always mulled over when someone came on to him: Fuck, why would someone want me? He'd burned his fingers. Dropped his clove. Crushed it with the toe of his tennis shoe. Shuffled his feet like a buffalo. Looked up. Squinted off into space and thought, Where is he? Maybe it was an accident. He probably realizes his mistake.

He found that he couldn't drag himself away from the front door even with the knowledge that the kiss had been witnessed, that he should go inside and pretend it never happened. It wasn't smart--two queers making out in the open. Well, they weren't making out, but he wanted it again. Right at the front door. FBI and Donaldson's group of crazies and revolutionary sympathizers with binoculars be damned.

He remembered seeing Jorge walking up to him. Linden had lowered his eyes, not being able to meet the critical dark stare. He finally raised them when Jorge stood three feet in front of him; no doubt in Linden's mind what was going on-- his eyes had raked over Linden's body before stepping past him.

"I stopped chasing long ago," he'd said as he brushed by to open the door. "I will wait for you to come to me."

Just like that-- into the house. He had followed behind Jorge with ants in his pants. Ennis gave Linden that tired stare-- the one where Linden felt like Ennis could see inside Linden's head and knew what was there but was bored to tears by it. Sister Sarita had smiled at him like nothing happened, and Jack seemed oblivious. Key word was seemed, because after Sister Sarita and Jorge left, Jack started up a conversation about Linden's work. Linden shared some stories with them. Ennis was interested, nodded his head and even asked a few questions. Thing was the whole time Jack was acting like there was more he wanted to ask-- but kept it back.

The day in review turned sobering for Linden. Even the moans up in the loft didn't get a rise out of him; the more he thought about Jack, the more he realized Jack was up to something. Over the last few days, Linden had gotten to know Jack fairly well-- he realized Jack's mind was sharp, always searching. Ennis was smart too-- but a different kind of sharp. Ennis was nature- and season-savvy. Jack was people savvy. Linden knew part of it was Jack's sales background, but it was more than that. The reason why Jack excelled at sales was because he could read people. Linden bet that sales honed a skill Jack already had.

What worried Linden most was that Jack was getting some idea to go off on his own to save the day. Linden planned to watch Jack closely.

He closed his eyes to sleep. Sounded like they were finished up there.

Finally.

-------------------

He woke to them going at it again-- the bed squeaked in that unmistakable rhythm, and Jack's voice echoed down in a series of compliments to Ennis' manhood. This time Linden couldn't squeeze the sounds out of his brain. He couldn't take it anymore-- he took his cock in his hand and came to Jack and Ennis' grunts and moans. He hadn't masturbated this much since high school when he used to hide out and spank the monkey every morning in the boys' bathroom. That same little trick that kept him from embarrassing moments in the locker room now kept him from equally embarrassing moments with the two cowboys.

After he shot off into his Kleenex, Nina nosed the back of his neck. Linden got up, pulled on his jeans, jacket and shoes to take her out. He grabbed his cloves as an afterthought before he stepped outside.

He lit up while he watched Nina. The feds were coming today. They'd bring someone to take the chips out of Jack. Linden hoped they'd explain the plan. Whatever it was, Linden was sure it wasn't going down in this house. Whatever it was it had to look real.

Nina was a real concern.

Linden was worried they'd use the dog to make it look realistic-- after all, she'd never leave Jack's side. Last thing Linden wanted was for her to end up hurt or dead. If Jack was expendable, she was more than expendable-- she was a non-entity. The feds wouldn't give sacrificing her a second thought.

He finished his cigarette and patted Nina on the head. They both stepped back inside. He heard life above so he made coffee. That should get them up. Linden fed Nina, then grabbed his clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower before they came down.

He adjusted the temperature of the spray, thinking about everything that could go wrong. He stepped out of his boxers and climbed in the tub and pulled the curtain, shivering. The hot water helped. Linden was pretty sure whatever the FBI decided they'd do it soon. He knew that they didn't want to give Linden or the others time to come up with another plan.

The more he went through possible plans the feds might conjure up, the more concerned he got. He finished washing his hair quickly. Didn't want to use all the hot water.

He stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel. Jack and Ennis were talking in the kitchen, then he heard the kitchen door open. Must be Ennis was taking Nina out again.

He got dressed fast. This was his chance to talk to Jack-- alone.

---------------------

Jack heard Linden shut the bathroom door.

"Hope we didn't disturb you earlier," he said.

"Ah, no," Linden said.

Jack knew right off was fuckin' lyin'.

Jack knew he shouldn't feel good about makin' Linden feel miserable, but he couldn't help it. Everythin' inside him knew he weren't a threat, but there was still somethin' inside him wanted ta mark Ennis as his, and if passionate moans was gonna do it, well then, Jack was gonna moan like a banshee.

Jack took a sip of coffee. Heard Linden makin' himself a cup, then the chair scrape as Linden sat down at the table next to him.

"I expect the feds to be here sometime this morning," Linden said.

"I expect so," Jack said in return.

"Shouldn't hurt. I'm sure they'll use a local."

"You look like warmed-over hash," Linden said.

Jack frowned. That wasn't nice ta say...

"Thinkin' about all this makes me come apart on the insides-- guess it's showin' itself on the out." Jack rubbed his arm, thinkin' on it. "But I'm not worried about the cuttin'."

"Either am I, but I am concerned about you, Jack."

Shit, why's he gotta get all nice? Jack started ta feel guilty for moaning so loud, and a little bit pissed.

"No need ta worry none," Jack said, takin' another drink of coffee. "I can handle myself."

"That's exactly what I am worried about. Ennis is right-- you don't look good. You need to stop blaming yourself. Don't shake your head-- you are, and you know it. It isn't your fault-- none of this. And none of us can handle it alone. I want to make myself clear here: Don't go off thinking you can do this on your own. You've got Ennis and me. I know I don't look like I'm capable, but I'm good at what I do. I can handle more than a gun."

"Frankly, I don't know what ya look like-- just what Ennis has told me-- so ya don't need ta get yer defenses up. It's not that I don't think you're capable. I trust ya. Ennis trusts ya. That ain't it."

"Then what is it?"

"You ain't gonna be there. Neither is Ennis. I can't chance it. I got ta do this myself. If ya follow, they're gonna know. There's Bobby and Lureen ta think about 'sides you. Shit, I hate ta say it, but I got no choice but to count on the feds."

"I wish we didn't have to," Linden sighed in agreement. "Do me a favor, don't shut us out. If you get any ideas, run them past me and Ennis first-- don't take any chances, Jack."

Jack nodded as he heard the door opening. Ennis. The man he loved beyond reason stomped his boots at the door.

"Come on, Nina, git in here."

Knew somethin' was off. Nina was bein' stubborn comin' inside. Wasn't like her.

Smell of exhaust seeped inta the kitchen.

"They're here," said Ennis. Jack braced himself. Shit. Explained Nina's rumble in the back a her throat.

"They're early," Linden said.

"I expect they want ta get this goin'." Jack pressed his back into the chair. "Know I sure as hell do."

Heard people comin' through the door. Felt Nina hug close to his feet. Felt Ennis' leg brush his as Ennis sat down on the other side of him.

Ennis got in close ta Jack's ear and said, "Chan and Elysburg are here with two other men I ain't seen before."

"How are you today, Jack?" Chan asked.

Like he really gives a shit, Jack thought.

"Reckon I'm fine. 'Bout as good as can be expected from a guy you're about ta slice and dice."

Men didn't even bother with introductions--

"Gonna do it right here?" one of em said.

"This looks like to be as good a place as any," said another. "He'll need to take off his shirt."

Jack nodded.

No need fer any niceties. Men got down ta business.

"This is a regional anesthetic. It will numb your whole arm."

"I thought you were going to do a local?" Linden asked.

"We might as well do the whole arm since we're removing two."

Jack didn't like shots none. Remembered when his ma took him in for polio inoculation-- Dr. Parker and Nurse Reynolds chased him around and around the examination room with the damn needle before they got Jack cornered. Cried 'n cried after, ma wipin' his tears. Weren't that it hurt so much-- was that scary lookin' damn needle. Leastwise he didn't have ta see it none now.

Nina musta read Jack's mind 'cause she started growlin'.

"Could you put the dog in another room?" Chan asked.

"Sure," Linden said. "Come here, Nina."

Waited until Linden put Nina in the bathroom. She started carryin' on somethin' fierce right off behind that bathroom door, scratchin' and clawin' and whinin'.

Shots didn't hurt too bad. Sat and waited fer it ta take effect. Was a few minutes.

"Feel that?" the man asked.

"No."

"That?"

"No."

"That?"

Jack hesitated. Was like someone was pushin' er pokin' without no feelin'. Weird as shit.

"No."

Jack heard people movin' around him.

"What'd ya do?" Jack turned to Ennis. "What'd he do?"

"Stuck ya with a pin."

Felt him doin' something. Reckoned he was cleanin' off where he was gonna cut.

Knew he was cuttin' and diggin'. Strangest sensations. He could feel pressure but no pain-- was like the very end when they was beatin' him. Couldn't feel no more-- like his senses was all locked down, protectin' him.

"Gross," Linden said.

Shit. Why'd he go and say that?

Then Jack remembered.

"I want em," Jack said, flatly.

"What?" Chan asked, clearly not understandin' what Jack meant.

"I want them chips."

"Those are government property. You aren't entitled to them, Mr. Twist," said Elysburg.

"Fuck they are. They been in me fer months! They belong ta me. I need em."

Felt the needle push goin' through his skin and then the tug of the thread stitchin' up his arm.

"I don't see any purpose for you keeping them," Elysburg bit out.

"I'm gonna need em ta show them men so's they won't be cuttin' away ta find em," Jack snapped back.

"I should think the incisions would be enough," said the guy cuttin' away at him again.

"I ain't takin' no chances."

"Give him the chips," Chan said.

This time there was no diggin' around. Found it quick.

The doctor, or whoever he was, wrapped em up in gauze and handed em to Jack.

Felt the pull and tug of gettin' sewn up again. Everyone was quiet while he done it-- like they was all watching him sew Jack up. When the sewin' was done, Jack felt him clean his arm up, and Ennis handed him back his shirt. Helped.

"I did a clean job. Only needed a couple of stitches per site."

"What's the plan?" Jack blurted out. He heard Ennis let out a long-held breath. Hated Ennis worryin' on him.

Jack got his shirt half on and struggled to get his limp arm through, Ennis helped him. Shifted his body forward in the chair ta get closer to him. God, his touch was a comfort, even if parts of him were numb.

"Well, ya gonna tell us or keep us wonderin'?" Jack asked, restin' back into the chair.

"This will require some acting on everyone's part, but especially yours, Mr. Twist."

"I kin do that."

"You're going to need to convince them that you're breaking ranks with us."

Jack sat forward, puttin' his limp arm on the table.

"They'll never believe I'm throwin' in with em."

"No, not siding with them-- disgruntled with us enough to give them information."

"Won't have ta act."

Jack didn't have ta see ta know Elysburg was shootin' him the evil eye.

"How will all of this go down?" Linden asked.

"We're going to pull out," Chan said. "The best scenario would be to get Jack all alone."

"That will look suspicious," Linden said.

"No, it won't. Not if you follow our plan. This is what you're going to do..."

-----------------------

Since the feds left Ennis and Linden had been doin' a lot of talkin'. Ennis spoke up more ta Linden now that Ennis was comfortable with him. Reckoned that bein' in dire straits formed bonds between people that never woulda been friends otherwise.

Jack didn't know what to think about the feds' plan. They were gonna have ta move on it right quick. Jack reckoned the feds should be cleared out by now, leavin' them others to think on what was goin' on and wonderin' why the feds was leavin'.

Ennis' knee bobbed up and down, bumpin' the table and sendin' Jack's spoon on a ride across the tabletop. Course, Ennis was the nervous sort, but Jack never know'd him to be so dad-gum fidgety.

Was important that they was all convincin'. Ennis wasn't no actor, but Jack was darn sure that Ennis would do fine.

"Gotta make it hurt, Jack," Ennis said.

"I reckon I can. Just stand still when I go ta hit ya, Linden, so's I don't miss," Jack said. "But you've got to make it look like you're not expectin' me ta hit ya."

"Give me a sign first," Linden said. "Tell me to shut the fuck up, then I'll give you a clean shot at my chin."

"Think they're gonna believe all this?" Ennis said. "Seem ta me just landin' him hard on his ass ain't gonna do it."

"Three queers fighting? Of course they're going to believe it!" Linden said. "Just come to my rescue, Ennis, and they'll believe every bit."

Jack patted Nina on the head with his workin' arm. Didn't like hittin' Linden. His other was arm still a bit numb and stiff. Hoped he could swing his right one and connect. She licked his numb hand. She was gonna be hard to keep out of the cross-fire. He'd been thinkin' on her, and he had an idea.

"I gotta get them ta take her with me."

"How are you proposin' ta do that?"

"She's a special dog."

"I know that," Ennis said, "but I don't think that's goin' to get em to take her with you."

"What if she could sniff things out-- you know-- like them police dogs who smell drugs? What if she could sniff something else?"

"Like what?" Linden asked.

"I don't know-- like maybe people-- maybe I could tell em she could read people. That ain't far from the truth. Maybe I could get em ta take me into their confidence-- pretend that I didn't want nothin' ta do with the feds. What if I got em to believe the dog could judge who they could trust and who they couldn't."

Linden laughed. "Sounds crazy."

"I don't think it is."

"Worth a shot," Ennis added.

They all sat quiet, thinkin' on the day. Outside the wind was pickin' up.

"No use sittin' here frettin' more," Jack said, finally. "Might as well do it."

TBC

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Date: 2008-01-19 04:25 pm (UTC)

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